Transcending Ordinary Methods

One of my very favorite books is "A Rational Theology" by John D. Widtsoe. Last night, R and I had an awesome conversation about the many mind-blowing principles that make the gospel of Jesus Christ so... well, there just aren't really adequate words to describe that. Perhaps, I should just say that when a person feels the truth, it is unlike any other feeling this earth offers.

This is just one of the many amazing teachings Elder Widtsoe offers in his book:

"By the holy spirit, which fills every person, man may obtain information from the Lord. By its means come the messages which transcend the ordinary methods of acquiring knowledge. By it man may readily communicate with God, or God with him."

Wow.

What Do I Hold?

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.


Russel M. Nelson (of the Quorom of the Twelve) remarks about this scripture, "His peace is not necessarily political; His peace is personal. But that spirit of inner peace is driven away by contention."

We live in a world so contentious, that media companies make serious profits by pitting two opposing sides against one another and we eat it up. As experts "debate" the issues of the day, we allow contention into our lives.

I believe it's our responsibility to stay informed about what's happening in the world and be involved. Can we do this without participating in contentious argument... the kind that doesn't actually solve problems or work towards solutions? Do we have to listen to "our" side bash the "other" side? Can we have inner peace while feeling politically contentious?


Proverbs 11:12 - He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.

Simplify

Now that we are moving... again(!), I'm feeling a need to simplify my life and all that encompasses. I've been ignoring this blog for quite some time because I feel too overwhelmed by it. Solution? Simplify. I will, for the time being, be posting spiritual thoughts and other such quick-ish things. I feel so fortunate for the progress I've made lately in the spiritual arena, due to many lovely people whom have been helping me better understand the gospel. I intend to express my gratitude by sharing my experiences with the outpouring of love our Heavenly Father and Savior provide through the scriptures and through the small, and large, experiences in my life.

In 1 Nephi 11, of the Book of Mormon, Nephi sees the vision of the tree of life and of the virgin Mary, mother of Jesus. At one point during his vision, Nephi is asked by an angel if he understands. He replies:

"I know that He loveth his children; nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things. (1 Nephi 11:17)"

I love this scripture because it illustrates that we don't have to understand the depths of the gospel to know that our Heavenly Father loves us. We can study our scriptures and learn more, progressing in our understanding... but we don't have to posses all the answers to know that we are loved... perfectly. What a blessing.

Advice from Elder Busche

The link below is a video... I saw this on someone's blog and had to put a link here. It happened to be EXACTLY what I needed to remember tonight; it is EXACTLY what we all need to remember each day and night.

Advice from Elder Busche

I Wish that Little, Strawberry Hat Still Fit

This is L, five or six years ago. We are hiking in New Jersey during a camping trip that didn't exactly go well. We all got ticks, the weather was hot and soggy and the mosquitoes were hungry and out for revenge (or so it seemed). I'm pretty sure we ended up coming home early. So, this picture doesn't exactly represent the fondest of memories.



Yet, this photo begs for my presence. I would LOVE to go back there... even for a moment. This photo of little, adorable L and several dozen of my children from years past have been haunting me lately. The other day, after watching an hour's worth of home videos, I told R that I would pay $5,000 to go back for one day and be with my babies again. My youngest is still four and my oldest is not yet ten, but I'm still feeling that horrible panic that I'm sure every mother eventually confronts; I'm realizing that watching your children grow is like a perpetual losing of them at the same time. I will never again play with two-year old L, I can't hold baby Q again and D will never toddle his first step in front of me. These thoughts make my gut wrench in pain and my eyes fill with tears.



Its not that I don't appreciate them as they are now. It feels like MAGIC to watch your kids grow and learn and become more and more of who they were born to be. When you have a baby, though, you are their universe. My four year old is totally into the solar system and frequently rehearses facts like, "Pluto is a dwarf planet because its so small, right?" I'm so proud that he's aware of the actual universe! Only... he's aware that I'm just a tiny little piece of the universe. I'm just mom the person, no longer MOM the everything.



I MISS MY BABIES! And, they're never coming back.



This isn't a feeling of being "baby hungry" (though any baby makes me feel all squishy on the inside since I have none at home any longer). Its just that they are changing and I can't keep up. Someday, they will be so changed that they will forget they ever needed me so much. That's good. That's life. That's scary.



I know the big picture here is to make every moment count. My kids don't actually belong to me in every sense, I know that. I'm fortunate beyond words to have them with me for the time they're here. Once they're grown and on their way, I'll savor what I can get: a couple of phone calls here and there, some emailed pictures of grand kids, maybe the privilege to visit on occasion? Actually, I think being a Grandparent is going to be awesome - I can't wait... NO! NO! I can wait, I can wait!



P.S.



Lately, D has been really into Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. We've seen it five times in the last ten days... at least. My favorite line in the movie (and I could pick several) is when Han Solo tells Chewbacca to "Fly Casual." I think that's great advice - sort of like "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff."

More Contrast + Mel Skonut = L.O.V.E.

I know I have been a major slacker in the blogging department. Perhaps, R will do a little better? I'm not sure... he is probably twice as busy as I am. Either way, I'm totally impressed with his skills and want to share his new blog address. Check out R's newest hobby here:

http://more-contrast.blogspot.com

Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

Lately, the days of our lives have been jam packed with many goings-on... some wonderful, some mundane, but it never seems to let up. I'm grateful for each moment (and I only slightly resent the fact that I have very little blogging time left!).

Over Thanksgiving, we took a trip down to White Sands National Monument in New Mexico. It was surreal...

(p.s. all the white stuff here is not snow, it's white sand... makes sense, right?)

Happy #7

For seven years now, I have been trying to crack the code that would open L's mental vault and show me what this sweet, lovely firecracker is all about.

For seven years, I have been unable to get inside L's mind. To me, she remains an enigma. I have, from time to time, been able to predict her behavior. On occasion, she and I will see eye to eye. Once in a while I can even convince her that she might see things my way.

For the most part, L is dancing to her own tune.

For seven years now, L has been growing, moving, pushing limits and living each moment like she owns it.

I love my L... though she doesn't really feel like mine; I think that I might belong to her.

Cool

iPhones are so cool. I downloaded this great app ("application" for those not familiar) that lets you recolor parts of a photo. This photo is of my dad years ago - it was a color photo originally, so the car was, in fact, red.

Ch-Ch-Changes

Life is always changing, but lately I have personally had a few big changes.

I started school. I'm going to a community college - starting at square one - and working towards getting into the nursing program. I'm only taking a couple classes per semester until little D is a big Kindergartner, so I'll be doing this for a long time...

I cut my hair. It had gotten pretty long, so this was a drastic change. However, I am no stranger to a short hairstyle so it hasn't been weird to me - just weird for my friends here in New Mexico that have only known me with long hair.

I had Lasik surgery. This, strangely enough, has been the hardest change for me. I'm really happy I did it and have no regrets - it's great! - but I didn't realize that I would miss my glasses. I've worn glasses basically since I was seven years old. When something has been a part of your face for that long, it feels a little... sad to be without it. I'm a total crackpot, I know! Give me a few more weeks and I will be 100% glad to be glasses free, instead of 80%.

If Only

You know when you are a kid and you get new shoes, and your certain that they will most definitely make you run faster?

I just spent $150 on new running shoes and I have to tell you, I have some pretty high hopes for these babies.

Tears on Her Pocket Folder

I just got back from taking Q and L to the first day of school. I was really looking forward to getting back into the school schedule, but I am already missing my big kids.

Three days ago, L was in tears because she just couldn't wait to start first grade. "I can't wait!" she howled repeatedly. Last night, I reminded her that school was starting the next morning. She began to sob, "I'm not ready for first grade! I want to just go back to kindergarten!" I realize this emotional range is not completely abnormal, I'm just having a hard time keeping up!

This morning she seemed totally fine, until we got out of the car at the school parking lot. I told them to pose for a picture and L asked me to wait until she wiped her tears away. She was trying so hard to keep it together, poor dear. We made it into the building and classroom holding hands tightly. Once we were in the classroom, the tears really let loose. The really funny thing is that she didn't even hesitate last year - first day of kindergarten was a piece o' cake!

We walked around, checking out ways in which the room was the same as last year's and ways in which it was even better. I then told her it was time for me to leave.

"Be brave, okay?" says me.

"Okay." says brave, little L.

Q requested that he walk to his classroom all by himself. Fourth grade is a time for sophistication, I suppose.

Sundays

One thing I love about Sundays is that we have time to hang out and do stuff we wouldn't usually do. I've never thought, "Gee, I don't have time to run errands today because we have to do our chalk drawings." Sundays are so nice :)

STRESSSSSS

I just discovered this picture - I guess Q took it with my iPhone. It makes me laugh because this was an incredibly stressful day for me. I was pretty much near tears at this moment. I was at the bank (if you didn't notice) waiting to talk to someone - no, that is BEG someone to take back the almost $400.00 in overdraft fees that we were hit with due to a BIG, silly error on my part (an error I have no recollection of - total mommy brain moment).

Three bank branches later, some tears and incredible patience on my poor children's part (the tears were mine, by the way) I was able to get half the fees reversed. I'm SO happy that Q captured this very humbling experience... ha, ha, ha.

Light As Air

This picture is from the set taken by my good friend/fabulous photographer. I cropped this image from one with all three kiddos. This is how I always want to remember L - she's amazing.

Check Out Our Mugs

My lovely, talented friend took some family pictures for us a couple of weeks ago and she just posted some of them on her blog. Check out our pictures (and her many other beautiful works) here.

Lately...

Jade Hummingbird Dancers

A couple of weekends ago, we took my parents and niece & nephew to see some Aztec dancers perform at the Petroglyph National Monument. The tradional clothing was beautiful and the dances were really interesting.


The head dresses were really incredible. A couple of them were around four feet high!


You can't tell from the picture, but this guy in black had crazy-looking skulls all over his clothing.

This guy put each foot into the fire, then each inner thigh?? (as above) then his chest. I'm sure there was a very good reason for it, but I didn't get why...

Q, L and cousin M with one of the dancers.

Budding Life

In our history of home ownership (we are currently on house number four), R and I have probably planted six or seven dozen plants and around twenty trees. We've had a few loses; bushes that whither and brown almost immediately or maybe last a season, then just never show much promise afterward. We've also had some very gratifying opportunities to take a suffering plant and make is happy again. We once transferred a tree growing too close to the fence. It seemed to die pretty quickly, but just as we had resigned ourselves to failure it starting budding green! That was sweet.

During our backyard redo, we took five rose bushes and transferred them to a new spot. One in particular looked doomed. We gave it some serious water and crossed our fingers. Sure enough, we started to see some lovely green soon and (perhaps as a way to say, "Thanks for not letting me die.") now there are beautiful roses blooming! That's sweet.

(This is a lovely pink oleander bush that we planted, too. I LOVE it!)

Backyard - Before and After

Everybody loves a good 'before and after' right? Well, here's our latest and greatest home improvement; R was inspired by the potential within our backyard, so he took his vision and made it real. After many, many, many hours of smashing concrete with a sledgehammer, carrying big and bigger rocks from one spot to the next, planting trees and bushes, laying down drippers for the plants and hauling countless numbers of wheelbarrows full of rock up the steps... oh, and assembling patio furniture - we're done!! We are now soooo ready to sit and relax.