Scissors Done Me Wrong

I am suffering from the side effects of a bad haircut. While the majority of these are temporary (hair does grow out... eventually) they are real and emotionally scarring.

These side effects include:

-Loss of self-esteem

-Camera shyness

-Moodiness

-Increased hat-wearing

-Increased appetite

-Feelings of regret

-Spousal drowsiness (he's totally bored of hearing me complain about it)

There is little that can be done at this point, due to the expensive nature of my bad haircut... and the gutless nature of me. I know I should go back and complain, but I just can't. I can get another haircut, but as I mentioned I spent a lot on this haircut and I can't bring myself to shell out more dough for a potentially bad haircut. Really, ANY haircut is a potentially bad one.

So, for now I will have patience... and hats.

New Old Dogs

We just got some new old dogs. Dogs that are new to us, but old. I suppose it's like a new old car, but these dogs weren't detailed before we got them. A coworker of R's had too many dogs and they're gone most of the day... so these two poor, old pups needed more attention.

You must know we've never (ever) in our marriage said, "Let's have two dogs... two is better than one." It was more like, "One dog will be nice... someday... when we've recovered from our previous attempt at owning a crazy dog. Maybe a dog that is so small you can forget it's in the room and it could dig in the yard all day and still not make a dent. Like a tiny, weak, dog that doesn't know how to bark. That's the dog for us."

Well, to my surprise R suggested that we go check out these dogs and MAYBE bring ONE home. Yippee! We go and see these very cute, shed-monsters and I'm half happy, half wanting to cry. "Well..." we say to the kids, "should we take one of these dogs home for the weekend?" You know, to try it out. "Oh, no," says R's co-worker, "they're a pair... I was wanting to keep them together, they've aways been together." Pause, pause pause. "Okay," says R "we could try it out." *CONK* (that's the sound of my jaw hitting the floor... and the sound I imagine my big, giant tears of regret will make when they fall on the ground). But, I'm still half happy, too. I love dogs and my children have wanted a dog every day of their lives. Little, baby L would say, "Ga-ga, goo-goo, doggie." I swear (not really).

So we take them home and they go running around the house sniffing everything. Then they go in the back yard and bark at the squirrels. Then they come inside and lay down... and just stay that way for the rest of the day. Until we get their leashes out and they are SO excited to go on a walk! We walk them through our neighborhood feeling like dog-owners (yeah). Then we come home and they lay down... and stay that way for the rest of the day. So, we've kind of got a sweet deal going here.

We made it through the weekend and felt 110% sure that these dogs would be a good fit here! L said, "Let's see if the dogs want us?!" when we suggested that the dogs should live here permanently. How cute is that? Way.

So our new old dogs are named Kylie and Tyler (these are the names they've had for ten years, so I think they deserve to keep them). They are eleven or twelve years old, litter mates and best friends. It's seriously the sweetest thing on earth the way they look after one another and HATE to be apart. They were with the same kind, loving family for ten years and it shows in their behavior. Other than really wanting so badly to get ahold of a squirrel, they've shown themselves to be as gentle as can be. Even when I gave them a bath with cold hose water they just stood there, because I told them to. I hope they rub off on my kids.

I actually caught Kylie "winking" at the camera!

Tyler is giving me the paparazzi paw here. He just wants his privacy, but I just want to post pictures of him on the Internet.

Breaking Point

Today I told a baby spider to go to hell. I feel bad about that. This is out of my character for two reasons: I am a great respecter of babies - even creepy ones - and, I rarely admit to using that kind of language. I realized afterward that I had reached my breaking point.

It started when we first visited Gainesville and everyone kept encouraging us to go see some gators at Lake Alice. So, we did go to Lake Alice but we didn't see any alligators. The unseen threat is far more stressful than the lazing threat asleep at the edge of the water. I'm not "afraid" of gators, per se, but they do in fact kill from time to time. So, threat number one.

Then a couple of months ago, before we moved, I saw an article that said armadillos can carry a leprosy virus. Well, there are lots of armadillos in Gainesville (mostly they are dead on the roadside from what I've seen). Leprosy from armadillos, threat number two.

On the way to Gainesville we stayed in several hotels. While I used to thoroughly enjoy hotel stays I now only partly enjoy them because I've read/heard several sources that say bed bugs are sometimes in hotel rooms and you can easily transport them to your home after staying in a hotel. So, once we actually moved into our home I was on the lookout for stowaway bed bugs now living in our home. I saw lots of bugs, fortunately none of them were the "bed" variety, but it was still on my mind. Threat number three (in case you've lost count - 'cuz I know I'm rambling here).

Then the bug guy gave me a big lecture on termites ("not if, but when" blah, blah, blah), the moving van driver told me he saw a four foot snake next to my yard, the neighbor girl confirmed the snake threat and added that she had personally seen two coral snakes ("red next to yellow, kill a fellow" blah, blah, blah), our friend's son got a chigger in his arm and a wolf spider - a really big one - crawled out of my garbage bin while I was throwing stuff away, jumped off the bin and onto the garage floor. He crawled away out of sight which wouldn't be a really big deal except that I was bare foot. That's threat four, five... anyway, you get the point.

It's not that Florida has more threatening elements than any other place I've lived, it's just the initial discovery of all the threatening elements that can bring a new resident to his or her breaking point. I'm usually pretty good about spiders - in fact, I like to catch them and show them to my kids just so I can get "cool mom" points - but I feel like the spiders are just being too aggressive here. There are boundaries that should be respected! Live and let live... just live on the OUTSIDE of my space. Okay? Not so hard.

So, I'd like a offer an official apology to the baby spider I condemned to a fiery death earlier. I should have just squished it with my big toe like I usually do.

Understatement

It's been a while since I last posted.

We've moved to Gainesville, FL. Gee, another move? Bet you didn't see that coming! Well, it's the last for a LOOOOOONG time - like many years, possibly even decades. Trust me. The good thing about that is that we LOVE it here! Gainesville is totally our kind of town. You should visit. You can stay in our guest bedroom. We'll chase the gators away before you arrive.

This is our new home. It's on an 1 1/2 acres and has lots of trees, of course. It's an older house, but that's okay because it gives us something to complain about. We're bored of complaining about how hot and humid it is, so we're just complaining about expensive house repairs full time.

This is our dining room. Carpet (it's clean, at least... for now), fancy chandelier and flowery wallpaper. If you are like my daughter, L, you'll be mad at me when I rip this all out. This light fixture makes her "feel like we're rich." Hmmm, it's hard to be the crusher of a little girl's fantasy.

To prove that we do in fact live in Florida, I'm posting this picture of an alligator (or "gators" as we call them here - not to be confused with "The Gators" which represents all that is strong and true here in Gainesville - oops, I mean the world). R took this picture in our backyard. Just kidding - it was the neighbor's backyard. No, please don't believe that because then you won't visit.... or you'll be here too much depending on what you call an ideal vacation.

In closing, I will pledge to blog more often. I will also pledge to remove wallpaper and replace old, fancy light fixtures asap. Sorry, Miss L.