Five Steps for Success

Today is Fast Sunday, always a mixture of joy and pain. :)

I love hearing the testimonies of other people. I find it amazing how often my prayers are answered by others' testimonies. Today was no exception.

A woman in my ward shared that when she sets aside her own "logic" and puts her trust in the Lord, the results are always better than she anticipated. This was exactly what I needed to hear today. So many times, I pray for an answer and receive communication from the Holy Spirit... then I talk myself into a confused mess because I couldn't just trust the answer I was given.

Here are my new five steps for success:

1. Pray
2. Receive an answer
3. Do
4. Get blessings
5. Repeat

Life is...

In Tucson, trying to stay cool (I think that's why I picked such a "cool" background here)! Life is hard, life is good, life is... a gift. I am, at times, an ungrateful recipient of my Heavenly Father's gift, so I will just take this opportunity to say, "Thank you, Heavenly Father."


A poem, by Carol Lynn Pearson-

Perspective from Mortality
My life is patterned as the palm
Of a rain-washed leaf, calm,
Cut and full.
But
I view my life from underneath,
Which - like the patterned leaf -
Is fuzzed and dull.

Transcending Ordinary Methods

One of my very favorite books is "A Rational Theology" by John D. Widtsoe. Last night, R and I had an awesome conversation about the many mind-blowing principles that make the gospel of Jesus Christ so... well, there just aren't really adequate words to describe that. Perhaps, I should just say that when a person feels the truth, it is unlike any other feeling this earth offers.

This is just one of the many amazing teachings Elder Widtsoe offers in his book:

"By the holy spirit, which fills every person, man may obtain information from the Lord. By its means come the messages which transcend the ordinary methods of acquiring knowledge. By it man may readily communicate with God, or God with him."

Wow.

What Do I Hold?

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.


Russel M. Nelson (of the Quorom of the Twelve) remarks about this scripture, "His peace is not necessarily political; His peace is personal. But that spirit of inner peace is driven away by contention."

We live in a world so contentious, that media companies make serious profits by pitting two opposing sides against one another and we eat it up. As experts "debate" the issues of the day, we allow contention into our lives.

I believe it's our responsibility to stay informed about what's happening in the world and be involved. Can we do this without participating in contentious argument... the kind that doesn't actually solve problems or work towards solutions? Do we have to listen to "our" side bash the "other" side? Can we have inner peace while feeling politically contentious?


Proverbs 11:12 - He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.

Simplify

Now that we are moving... again(!), I'm feeling a need to simplify my life and all that encompasses. I've been ignoring this blog for quite some time because I feel too overwhelmed by it. Solution? Simplify. I will, for the time being, be posting spiritual thoughts and other such quick-ish things. I feel so fortunate for the progress I've made lately in the spiritual arena, due to many lovely people whom have been helping me better understand the gospel. I intend to express my gratitude by sharing my experiences with the outpouring of love our Heavenly Father and Savior provide through the scriptures and through the small, and large, experiences in my life.

In 1 Nephi 11, of the Book of Mormon, Nephi sees the vision of the tree of life and of the virgin Mary, mother of Jesus. At one point during his vision, Nephi is asked by an angel if he understands. He replies:

"I know that He loveth his children; nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things. (1 Nephi 11:17)"

I love this scripture because it illustrates that we don't have to understand the depths of the gospel to know that our Heavenly Father loves us. We can study our scriptures and learn more, progressing in our understanding... but we don't have to posses all the answers to know that we are loved... perfectly. What a blessing.

Advice from Elder Busche

The link below is a video... I saw this on someone's blog and had to put a link here. It happened to be EXACTLY what I needed to remember tonight; it is EXACTLY what we all need to remember each day and night.

Advice from Elder Busche

I Wish that Little, Strawberry Hat Still Fit

This is L, five or six years ago. We are hiking in New Jersey during a camping trip that didn't exactly go well. We all got ticks, the weather was hot and soggy and the mosquitoes were hungry and out for revenge (or so it seemed). I'm pretty sure we ended up coming home early. So, this picture doesn't exactly represent the fondest of memories.



Yet, this photo begs for my presence. I would LOVE to go back there... even for a moment. This photo of little, adorable L and several dozen of my children from years past have been haunting me lately. The other day, after watching an hour's worth of home videos, I told R that I would pay $5,000 to go back for one day and be with my babies again. My youngest is still four and my oldest is not yet ten, but I'm still feeling that horrible panic that I'm sure every mother eventually confronts; I'm realizing that watching your children grow is like a perpetual losing of them at the same time. I will never again play with two-year old L, I can't hold baby Q again and D will never toddle his first step in front of me. These thoughts make my gut wrench in pain and my eyes fill with tears.



Its not that I don't appreciate them as they are now. It feels like MAGIC to watch your kids grow and learn and become more and more of who they were born to be. When you have a baby, though, you are their universe. My four year old is totally into the solar system and frequently rehearses facts like, "Pluto is a dwarf planet because its so small, right?" I'm so proud that he's aware of the actual universe! Only... he's aware that I'm just a tiny little piece of the universe. I'm just mom the person, no longer MOM the everything.



I MISS MY BABIES! And, they're never coming back.



This isn't a feeling of being "baby hungry" (though any baby makes me feel all squishy on the inside since I have none at home any longer). Its just that they are changing and I can't keep up. Someday, they will be so changed that they will forget they ever needed me so much. That's good. That's life. That's scary.



I know the big picture here is to make every moment count. My kids don't actually belong to me in every sense, I know that. I'm fortunate beyond words to have them with me for the time they're here. Once they're grown and on their way, I'll savor what I can get: a couple of phone calls here and there, some emailed pictures of grand kids, maybe the privilege to visit on occasion? Actually, I think being a Grandparent is going to be awesome - I can't wait... NO! NO! I can wait, I can wait!



P.S.



Lately, D has been really into Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. We've seen it five times in the last ten days... at least. My favorite line in the movie (and I could pick several) is when Han Solo tells Chewbacca to "Fly Casual." I think that's great advice - sort of like "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff."

More Contrast + Mel Skonut = L.O.V.E.

I know I have been a major slacker in the blogging department. Perhaps, R will do a little better? I'm not sure... he is probably twice as busy as I am. Either way, I'm totally impressed with his skills and want to share his new blog address. Check out R's newest hobby here:

http://more-contrast.blogspot.com